Your smoothie is an asshole

Sitting on the subway this morning I noticed a sickly sweet, pungent smell coming from the guy beside me. I look over and dude is drinking a Rockstar. At 8:00am. WTF. Energy drinks are fine and all (I used to luuurve the Red Bull, but have seen the error of my ways in the form of vivisection-like stomach pain), but aren't they more of a "perk you up before a night on the party-pants train" kind of thing? Anyhoo, it got me thinking about an article I read on Torontoist right before PRIDE.

Another reason I bring this up is because each and every time I've been to the grocery store in the past month or so, I see people buying those Bolthouse Farm smoothie dealies (made by the same bigots/asswipes who make Rockstar). I don't blame people for buying - the packaging is great, all up in there with the bright colours and tasty looking fruits. I'm sure the smoothie part is good too. I'm just relieved that I read that article before I became a devotee. Now I just have to deal with the constant struggle of not saying anything while "Organic Everything/Tree Tattoo/Teencie Weencie Carbon Footprint Guy" in front of me at the checkout buys, like, 20 of them.

I'm sure I buy many things from many companies that are run by giant meanies. But if I can at least avoid the meanies I'm actually aware of, then I feel a smidgen better about things. *This has become my mantra so that I can still shop at American Apparel and not feel bad about supporting Dov Charney's perv-tastic ways.*

And on that note, excuse me while I finish designing my Wal-Mart in-store beluga whale sanctuary...

Oh no they did not

Search Called Off for New Jersey Baby Lost in Hospital Trash

You know, because it's so easy to mistake a five-pound baby for a crumpled wad of paper towel. I know I do it all the time with my boyfriend's baby niece: "Oh crap, was that the baby I just threw into the compost bin? She looks and feels so similar to that piece of Bounty I just used."

But seriously. SERIOUSLY. I know there must be a ton of medical waste being tossed out during any given day at a hospital; but that kind of negligence is just fuxored. I hope this woman sues and gets the kind of settlement where she'll still be rolling in dough even after paying her lawyer his mondo fee.