Monday, July 28, 2008

Colbert Nation > Leafs Nation

When it comes to the Toronto Maple Leafs I have "Battered Hockey Fan Syndrome". I'm slapped around every year by their incompetence and general malaise, and yet I still come back for more. Last season I took the major step of going on a 3-month boycott: no watching of games, no looking at highlights, no checking scores (okay, I did check the scores), which was a huge decision considering that the very thought of the Leafs winning the Cup is enough to make my eyes well up with the tears of a thousand Cubs fans. I'm superstitious to the point that when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series after an 86-year drought, I actually thought that the breaking of the Bambino Curse might transfer over to the Leafs. Yes, I'm a maniac, but I blame 20-some-odd years of loyalty to an organization that's been kicking it's fans in the teeth for decades. Call it "Post Traumatic Puck-Not-Going-In-Net Disorder".

My reason for revealing the crazy? Mats Sundin, Captain of the Leafs will (finally) be making his announcement regarding his future on August 1st: Whether to stay in Toronto, go to another team (Habs & Canucks are contenders), or retire from the sport completely. Unlike many in this city, I am not a Mats-hating Leafs fan, which is why I hope that he makes the wise decision of taking the offer from Montreal. Yeah, I said it. The Leafs are a BAD HOCKEY CLUB (but I still love you!! Don't be mad!! Please just win some games!!) and the Habs are a GOOD HOCKEY CLUB, so no matter the years of rivalry, I say go to the organization that has actually made inroads to become a serious Cup contender.


GOD SPEED, GIANT SWEDE!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Beyoncé poured beer on my weave

I've always found the physical "theatrics" of most of the "Diva" crowd (Mariah, Christina, Celine etc.) to be pretty high-larious, but I think these two take the cake:

Feast your eyes on the stage antics of Rihanna and Beyoncé. They are both completely nuts, but I think I pulled a muscle laughing at the Beyoncé video. Enjoy, kiddies!

Video credit: http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/




Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Dr. Horrible

My love for Joss Whedon knows no bounds (Sunnydale-4-Life, yo), and I couldn't be more geeked-out-giddy about the release of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog! Starring Neil ("let's get some poon tang") Patrick Harris , Nathan Fillion (Serenity & pretty much every J.W. project), and Felicia Day (Buffy), with music by Joss & Jed Whedon.



The musical was available free online for like, a day, but now you have to kneel at the Altar of Jobs and purchase it on iTunes. It's a $3.99 download, not too shabby - but if one wanted to watch most of it for free, one could go to a particular video hosting website and see that most of the songs have been uploaded. I'm just saying.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The View is The Suck

Memo to Elizabeth Hasselbeck: THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

New Feature: Oh no they did NOT

Just the other day, my boyfriend and I were having a discussion about the amount of terrible drivers here in Toronto. We came to the conclusion that it seems the more expensive the car, the worse the driver.


Now to only make matters worse, it seems that not only are many luxury car owners giant douchebags, but the people running said luxury car companies are apparently the douchiest douches that ever douched. Please have a gander at BMW's current ad for their "Premium Selection" used cars. I know that like most women, I enjoy the fact that some neanderthal ad exec thinks that once a women has had sex she is officially on the proverbial "used car lot" of life. And using a model that looks like she just got out of 4th period History class? Well that's just the broken cherry on my slutty sundae. Kudos, assclowns.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Comments enabled!

I've been getting some questions re: people not being able to post comments on the blog. I've now enabled the feature and you are free to comment away - after I approve the comment of course, because I don't trust you people to be nice, and I'm the only one who's allowed to be mean. Deal.

I went to Gitmo and they took away my stash


The first video of a prisoner (16-year-old Omar Khadr) being questioned at Guantanamo Bay was released yesterday; and along with it came the requisite “he’s a terrorist, he can rot in hell” and “he’s just a boy, he didn’t know what he was doing” mumbo jumbo. But in the midst of this media ruckus appeared a news story of REAL SUBSTANCE:

Barenaked Ladies Singer Steven Page Arrested On Drug Charges

You’ve read correctly – a member of the entertainment industry has been caught with an illegal substance. This is worse than the time that Snoop Dogg was caught at Bob Hope airport with handguns and a huge bag of weed. Or the time that Nicole Richie got hopped up on Vicodin and drove the wrong way on the freeway. Or that time when Aerosmith was on heroin…for a decade. Or the time when David Crosby was arrested for heroin, pot, cocaine and codeine possession…while he was on bail awaiting another cocaine charge. Or that time when Keith Richards, Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr., Whitney Houston, Lindsay Lohan, Tupac, David Lee Roth, Jerry Garcia, Macauley Culkin, Neil Diamond, Chuck Berry…

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

New Feature: I Am Going to Hell


Not sure about the other public transit riders out there, but when I’m on the bus/streetcar, I never sit in the seats up front because I think they should be reserved for the disabled & the elderly (and pregnant ladies etc.). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a clearly physically compromised person be forced to stand because the entitled douches at the front are pretending they don't see them. I once had to publicly address an entire Toronto streetcar because an elderly woman (and I mean OLD) had nowhere to sit.


Here's where me going to hell comes in: When the streetcar that I'm on makes a stop, I try to make sure I pay attention to who is getting on, in the case that I need to give up my seat. So I'm sitting there the other day and this woman gets on who is using those forearm crutches that people with permanent disabilities use. So I'm all ready to hop out of my seat, when who gets on right after her? Blind guy. It was like Disability Deathmatch - which of course would be hosted by Jeff Probst and my seat would be the Immunity (Disability?) Idol. Thank jebus that shit didn't have to go to TTC Tribal Council - the lady wanted to stand and the blind guy was offered a seat right away. Now I'm going to hell because I made up a game show about disabled people. Kick ass.

I went from Marcy to Hollywood and back again...


Back once again…


What can I say? I like drinking beer and sitting on patios too much to update the blog as frequently in the summer. We get like, 8 days of consistently hot & sunny weather here, so colour me taking advantage of that. But, I’ve been getting some rather aggressive demands for new posts and I shall deliver!


Upcoming topics:


Public transit confessions


2008 NHL free agent signings


More mixtapes – some mine, some not, all good


Videos, articles & anything else that tickles my easily distracted fancy


Allons-y!